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apollo face!


the prose of craigslist…

or just a flowery appeal for a blowjob? you decide.

I met you when the lilacs bloomed, it must have been spring. The northeast winds shifted the clouds and chilled the buds, teasing your hair and making me smile. So tall, I had to look up, your shoulders covered the sun and I wondered, wondered how this could be. I hurled towards the moon then, I know not exactly when, but my feet left the earth as I saw you…the most beautiful thing in heaven. Your eyes followed me but I wanted to touch you, or feel your lips brush my thighs, instead I lost my nerve and bit my tongue. A drop of blood blossomed, metallic and sweet, I tasted my days from solitude and vowed to live this one with you. Somewhere I heard a chickadee sing and time froze in April — I fell for you, unfurled my hidden hurt too and imagined your hands lift me higher. 

My life, I live it day by day, and happiness hovers silently like kittens stealing cream; sometimes softly kissing my ears or brushing back a hair, but at other times, like today, your presence made it sublime. Take me. Show me this blinding darkness called love. But go slow when I falter, even if I were never to see light again, envelope me in your strong arms and give me night. Hold me when I cry from this painful pleasure of yours and mine intertwined. Yet deeper still into the abyss, our souls will mix and only a part of me will remain to color these memories. Come to me lover, do not fear. Because of you my pulse flutters like a hummingbird, I am ready, let the fire burn us to ashes. This little death is worth more than a thousand lifetimes without you. 

Michael, it is Spring again, do you smell the lilacs? Do you remember? 


newsweek wonders what i wonder: where did “under the bus” come from?

long ago, i asked a deeply penetrating sociological question: who are we throwing under the bus? implicit, i hope, in this profoundly fascinating inquiry, was the larger question of, “where did this wildly overused and increasingly meaningless phrase originate?” well, now it seems like newsweek  has joined this critically important crusade with an inquiry of their own. so if you said the answer is cyndi lauper, well then you win.

In the last few years, “thrown under the bus” has become the leading cliché of the political blame game. Former Arkansas attorney general Bud Cummins used it to assess the fate of nine colleagues who were mysteriously dismissed in 2006; rocker Melissa Etheridge used it last year to characterize the lives of gays and lesbians after the 1992 presidential election, and earlier this year MSNBC political reporter David Schuster claimed he was “thrown under the bus” for an uncouth on-air remark he made about Chelsea Clinton. 

In general, “thrown under the bus” is a metaphor for what happens when someone takes a hit for someone else’s actions. But unlike its etymological cousins, “scapegoat” and “fall guy,” the phrase suggests a degree of intimacy between the blamer and the blamed. That’s why it might have been on the tip of everyone’s tongue this week. Jeremiah Wright was Obama’s religious mentor, after all, the person who officiated at his marriage and baptized his kids. And while Obama distanced himself from Wright’s sermons, he also humanized the fiery preacher by attributing his remarks to the lingering injuries of racism. In other words, according CNN’s senior political analyst David Gergen: “He didn’t throw him under the bus.” 


But who was the first person to squawk about throwing someone under the bus, or being thrown under themselves? In an interview with NEWSWEEK, William Safire, the author of “Safire’s Political Dictionary,” traced the popularization of the phrase back to Cyndi Lauper, who jauntily tossed her critics “under the bus” after the release of her debut album “She’s So Unusual” in 1983, says Safire. But he suspects that the phrase has deeper roots in minor-league baseball, where players are almost always bused to away games. In fact, its original meaning could be have been quite literal: be on time for the bus, or you will be thrown underneath it, into the storage bays. He says the metaphor has also been used as a way to say “get with it, or get lost,” as in “you’re either on the bus, or you’re under it.” He isn’t quite sure when the meaning of the phrase crystallized into the act of “summarily and decisively rejecting someone.”

picture of the day, 03.18.08

wherein a courtroom-sketched heather mills mccartney pours water over the head of paul mccartney’s lawyer, before learning that she’ll only receive roughly $50 million in their divorce settlement, instead of her requested sum of approximately $250 million. 

the best anti-war, pro-business, tupac-referencing, hungarian rap song you’ll ever hear


as the number one interest of humans aged 0-19, i have a very busy schedule and a ton of responsibility! you guys! one thing i’ve realized, though i’m not hannah montana, is that a lot of people can’t understand the internet, and thus think that not only am i hannah montana (nee, “milly” cyrus), but that i’ll respond to your letters as her. so i thought, why not do that? doesn’t hannah montana owe that to her fans? and if not, shouldn’t i pretend i’m her and give it to them anyway? YES.

 from: Lauren

“Hannah you are the person that I look up to because when I want to grow up my mom wants me tolearn different languages and go around the world. But I want to grow up and be a rockstar just like you. You totally inspire me. Keep on rockin’ Hannah!

P.S. Please reply and don’t ignor”


Dear Lauren,

I am considerably taller than you, and that significant height advantage has given me a certain world-wariness you’d never understand. Your mom is most likely pinning all of her desires for you in an effort to compensate for the failures of her own life. Don’t travel; everything you need to see and learn in life can be found inside your own home. I’m speaking here of the basement, and sometimes the cupboard. So ignore her advice, get some drums, or a guitar, or some other instrument that you won’t fail at (like your mom likely did!) and keep on rockin’ yourself!



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cool new internet thing

source: the internet.