Archive for the 'things people do!' Category

“elegant women are very rare, i’m greek.”

so, guy meets girl. girl reluctantly gives guy phone number. guy calls soon after, gives best stalk pep-talk.

or, as put by the person who posted this awesome voice mail message (the video of which is largely irrelevant):

Okay guys here is the info on this voicemail. One of my friend’s from work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girl’s, Olga ends up meeting this guy Dmitri and they talk for at the most 2 minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.

Well attached is the actual voicemail that this guy left her. Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you’ll fall out of your chair.

some thoughts on two seminal versions of the seminal phil collins jam, “sussudio”

in the first version, a bloodless blond muppet spazz-dances and lip synchs to an abbreviated version of SUSSUDIO to a triumvirate of judges seemingly comprised of his grandmothers:

a few reactions:

1. if you surround it with a blue sport coat and wear white pants, even a trapper keeper can look stylish.

2. puttin on the kids (incidentally, could this title be more appropriate?) could not afford a fake microphone for duffy to hold, but he deftly improvised.

3. ever wonder if a series of overlapping triangles would constitute a suitable background for a talent competition? how about now?

4. “oh, your dad’s name is normal? and he called you ‘duffy?’ what an ass.”

5. as a tv show host, the pinnacle of your profession is inversely proportional to how frequently you must interview your guests from your knees.

in the second rendition, an emaciated, considerably-less-talented, 1980s manchild version of david archuleta joins fergie (and backup dancer mario lopez!) in a rollicking shriekfest the likes of which only child star factory kids incorporated could have produced:

1. ha ha. fergie.

apollo face!

picture of the day, 03.18.08

wherein a courtroom-sketched heather mills mccartney pours water over the head of paul mccartney’s lawyer, before learning that she’ll only receive roughly $50 million in their divorce settlement, instead of her requested sum of approximately $250 million. 

bad puns + image editing + tv themes = amazingness.

happy “the new year,” crazytown dion style.

[thanks, best week ever]

turd blossom jr responds!

if you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the mental stain of the nauseating new allegations against lou pearlman, let’s refresh: vanity fair recently posted an article with accusations from several of the ex-boyband members whose careers pearlman helped launch suggesting that the karl rovian manager slash promoter slash business slab made sexually inappropriate advances towards some of them, including requiring boyband BJs for career advancement, performing nasty massages, and engaging in half-naked bed wrestling, in addition to being—generally speaking—gross.

well now pearlman is responding to these allegations via truth-seeking vessel, radar. the article can be found here, but among the most powerful and back-breaking defenses:

On an incident described in the Vanity Fair story in which former Take 5 boy-band member Tim Christofore describes Pearlman swan diving on a bed full of boys and wrestling with them wearing only a towel (which falls off):
“T.J. [Christofore] is making up this story. He sued me in child labor court and lost. If what he says is true, you would think he would have brought it up to help his case. The fact that he never mentioned this in court should tell you where he’s coming from. He’s just trying to join the lynch party. Besides, I’ve never owned a towel that could wrap all the way around me anyway.”