today in fanfiction: a very special growing pains

in this edition of internet fanfic, we finally learn what became of tv’s the seaver family after whatever happened in their final episode, which probably involved some of that trademark thickian smarm, a plot-contrived mix-up, and a guy named boner. critically important revelations contained here include: mom and pop seaver are dead, chrissy”s birthday is coming up, and carol is sorry she exists but also knows a thing or two about being used.


Mike came in looking very angry.

“Where is Carol” Mike asked Ben angrily.

“In her room” Ben replied taking a bite of his sandwich.

“How could you do that to me?” Mike shouted as soon as he got into Carol’s room.

“Do what to you Mike?” Carol asked.

“You told on me. I thought you would be on my side since you’re my sister.”

“Mike what you were doing was wrong I had to stop you,” Carol said.

“SO now dating a girl is wrong.” Mike yelled.

“No, Mike you and me both now you were going to use her. Do you know how bad that is?” Carol said getting very angry with Mike now.

“So what. You were right I was going to use her. But she would have gotten over it anyways.”

“No she wouldn’t have, you don’t know how it feels like to be used do you?” Carol said.

“oh and you do?”

Carol turned red. I can’t tell Mike I know how is feels like to be used then he would know I am being used by Jake. I need to deal with Jake my self; he can’t get in the way.

“Well no I don’t but–”

“Then stop pretending you know, I wish you didn’t exist. You’re the worsest human being alive. I don’t even know how Jake deals with you. Who would want you to be their girlfriend? You know what Carol I wouldn’t care if you died right know? I never want to see you again!” with that Mike left the room.

Carol felt horrible. Is that how Mike really felt. For some really odd reason Carol felt like crying. She didn’t usually cry this easily. It was just Mike who would care about what he thought. But ever since Mom and Dad had died in a car crash. Carol started crying at the most smallest things.

I never want to see you again! If that is what Mike wanted then that is what Mike is going to get. I am going to run away. Get an apartment far away from Mike. But first I should break up with Jake I already know he is using me.

Carol waited until Midnight to start packing. And she wrote a letter to each of her brothers and sister.

Dear Chrissy,

I love you. I am sorry I will probably never get to see you again. You were always my favorite sister. Well you were the only sister I have but still I love you very much. I bought this teddy bear for your birthday next week, but seeing I want be able to come I will just give it to you now.



She went to Chrissy’s room and put the letter and a huge teddy bear almost the size of Chrissy herself next to her bed. She kneeled down and kissed Chrissy on the forehead and whispered “Goodbye”

Dear Ben,

I know the death of mom and dad had been the hardest on you and I know me leaving wouldn’t help either but I am sorry I have to go.

I hope you grow up to be a great guy. I am sorry I wouldn’t be there when you need me.

I love you,


With the letter she went into Ben’s room and put the letter next to him with a small box.


You never wanted to see me again so here I go. I will be buying an apartment somewhere and I will probably settle there. Take care of Ben and Chrissy. I am sorry I exist, but I will go so far away that you wouldn’t even know I am alive.


Carol didn’t go inside Mike’s room to put the letter. She just slid it under the door.

“Goodbye Mike and I am sorry”

Before leaving the house she went into her parent’s room. It was the same as it always been. She went to her parent’s bedside table and took a picture of her whole family. “I am sorry mom and dad but this is for the best”

And she left her home with a picture of her family in her hands and tears in her eyes.


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