parents, is your child EMOtional?

this video from utah’s abc 4 can help you decide if your child’s enjoyment of death cab for cutie is cause for a suicide watch or merely an error in judgment.

warning sign #1: unhappiness. all unhappy teens cut themselves because happiness is a sin.

warning sign #2: dark clothes. all unhappy teens who cut themselves wear dark clothes.

warning sign #3: bracelets. all unhappy teens who wear dark clothes also wear bracelets because they cut themselves.

warning sign #4: ridiculous hair. all unhappy teens who wear dark clothes and bracelets and cut themselves have ridiculous haircuts that resemble gunshots.

warning sign #5: enjoyment of music, books, the internet, and spiderman 3. all unhappy teens who wear dark clothes and bracelets and cut themselves have ridiculous haircuts that resemble gunshots do these things because they like music, books, the internet, and spiderman 3.

(also, bonus information for parents: boys kissing=”gender-bending”)


8 Responses to “parents, is your child EMOtional?”

  1. 1 felicia April 7, 2008 at 5:45 am

    not ALL kids that cut wear drk clothes, have rediculous haircuts, wear bracelets, act unhappy, or enjoy music, internet etc. i would know. i cut. yes i wear dark clothes but i dont have a rediculous haircut. i dont act unhappy all the time. i enjoy the internet and music. i write poetry.
    there are quite a few “preppy” people that cut. i happen to know quite a few. DO NOT say thet just because someone wears dark clothes or fits into any of ur categories that they do or do not cut.

  2. 2 Foreverundefined May 15, 2008 at 4:16 am


    think before you open that god damn hole in your face before someone comes up and makes one through your fucking forehead!

  3. 3 Frankalientje June 22, 2008 at 10:51 am

    wtf… you are a real idiot.
    im not an emo or anything.. but this is just rubbish!
    just because i love to listen to music,, love the internet and wear black tights and a band shirt doesnt make me an unhappy cutting dark clothes wearing emo!
    because of this kind of sites the misunderstanding comes about emo’s!
    and if emo’s love the internet.. then your an emo aswell!
    cause after all.. this is an internet page!
    think before you say something! before some one get killed!

  4. 4 Rebecca July 3, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    Oh my gosh, who the hell do you think you are?

    1: Unhappiness is perfectly healthy, not over excessive unhappiness of course, but one doesn’t have to be insanely happy to not be “emo”.

    2: NOT TRUE. I know plenty of teens who wear dark clothes because THEY LIKE THEM. They like the color, style, shade. Whatever.

    3: Sorry to inform you, but bracelets are accessories. That’s like saying all kids that wear clothes have herpes.

    4: What you consider “ridiculous” may be appealing to others. Thanks, but you are completely ignoring other’s opinions.

    5: Ok, this has got to be a joke. Music; IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED ALMOST EVERYONE LISTENS TO IT. Books; More entertainment, are you a freaking loser that sits in a corner and sucks your thumb all day? Internet; If you haven’t noticed, you’re on it. OH, YOU MUST BE EMO. Spiderman 3; WHAT?! IT’S A FREAKING MOVIE! I repeat the, loser sitting in a corner sucking your thumb comment. Also, this has got to be a joke. But there are some dumb over paranoid parents that might read this and believe you. Get a life.

    I sum this up with, you are a stereotypical moron that, if you have kids, should put them in a homeless shelter because that would be a better home than having them live with you. And because this is probably a joke, why the hell did you waste your idiotic time on this? That’s just sad, get a life.

  5. 5 premiumlux July 3, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    dear irate commenters,

    despite my best intentions, the stunning amount of sarcasm with which my entire post is dripping seems to have been lost on you. so, to sum up: this post is a joke. it is responding directly to the uninformed hysteria in the video i posted. i do not believe the things i posted; in fact, deftly employing sarcasm as i was, i mostly believe the opposite. so there you go.

    carry on.

    the real idiot slut, premiumlux

  6. 6 An outraged person July 8, 2008 at 1:33 am

    You idiot.
    You don’t know what the hell your talking about.
    Get your head out of your ass long enough to realize how stupid this stereotyping is.
    You don’t know anything about people who practice self hurt, reconizing it, treating it, or anything in general.
    Really, if your going to ‘educate’ others, be educated.
    This REALLY pisses me off!

  7. 7 KrazyMissy August 31, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    wat the hell is your problem your an idiot thats not how it works you STERIOTYPE and ppl like you piss me off thats not how you find out your kids are cutting them selves thats a lie and ppl like you make parents think ppl like us are cutting b/c we wear cloths like that or do shit like that your lieing pieace of shit slut rame it up your ass and shut the fuck up! >:-[ your the reason why my parents act the way they do and treat me like that so FUCK YOU!

  8. 8 Oineby October 28, 2008 at 4:22 am

    Oh, that was funny.
    But what was funnier was everyone else’s reactions.
    Let it be known that somebody understood your use of sarcasm, and thourougly enjoyed it.

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