how to preemptively display your innocence to the local news media.

step 1: make a shirt that says you didn’t do it.

step 2: decorate your home with “colorful ornaments…and language.”

step 3: pour out your trash.

step 4: ingest and then slather the potentially harmful substance in question about your face and hair to prove your point.

step 5: get especially indignant towards the fadeout.

step 6: generally speaking, crank up the crazy to appropriate levels.

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2 Responses to “how to preemptively display your innocence to the local news media.”


  1. 1 Jason March 16, 2007 at 7:40 am

    I’m speechless…

  2. 2 bluevelveeta March 18, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    that was so fucking sexy.


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