Archive for March, 2007

what did we do, baby, before i poured a drink in your face while you slept and put you in a choke hold. sha la la laaaa.

in addition to introducing the term “un-arrested,” this article informs us of the current exploits of one brian bonsall, the shark jump-inducing young keaton son who impressed the clan with his floppy haircut and ability to speak. he’s available for work, so long as you can post his bail.

A former “Family Ties” child star was arrested this week on suspicion of domestic violence.

Brian Bonsall, 25, faces possible charges of felony second-degree assault and misdemeanor false imprisonment after his girlfriend told police that he poured an alcoholic drink in her face as she slept, put her in a choke hold and threw her onto a bed several times when she tried to leave.

Bonsall remains at the Boulder County Jail in lieu of a $5,000 bond and is expected to be formally charged Tuesday.

His girlfriend, Lindsay Dunavan, called police at 6:35 a.m. Wednesday to the apartment she shares with Bonsall at 2800 Balsam Ave. When officers arrived, Bonsall said he threw his girlfriend down in self-defense because she came at him with a steak knife and cut his arm and face. Dunavan, 26, denied slashing Bonsall.

Police initially arrested the couple but “un-arrested” Dunavan about an hour later, according to a police report.

Boulder police Detective Colleen Wilcox said Thursday that it became questionable whether enough probable cause existed to arrest Dunavan after further investigation, and officers were looking at Bonsall as the “prominent aggressor” in the case.

Wilcox said they are unsure how Bonsall received his injuries.

Bonsall was arrested in 2004 on suspicion of drinking and driving after police say he suddenly stopped his gray SUV near the intersection of Broadway and College Avenue as a passenger stuck his head out the window and vomited. When police asked how much Bonsall, who was driving, had been drinking, he replied, “Plenty” — half a pint of Jim Beam, the officer’s report said.

His driver’s license previously had been revoked for an alcohol offense in 2001.

Bonsall’s arrest history also includes two allegations of failure to appear in court for underage drinking in Broomfield and Boulder counties, according to police records.

His name also appears in four other Boulder police reports involving allegations of domestic violence and assault from 2002 and 2004, but no arrests were made. Those records were not available Thursday.

Bonsall starred as Andy Keaton on “Family Ties” from 1986 to 1989 alongside Michael J. Fox and later appeared on “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” He also had several movie roles in the 1990s, including “Blank Check” and “Mikey,” according to

His latest police report stated he is unemployed.


tori amos changes name to gwyneth denver, crashes new baby “converse” into pacific. alcohol suspected.




breaking news: a shit ton of people shop at tj maxx.


but at least now they’re financially in jeopardy!

turdblossom kicks it old school.

UPDATE: now with difficult-to-stomach moving images and sound. the real fun begins after about a minute and a half.

gold-braceleted praying mantis attacks lavish party.

a conversation between gmail sponsored links.

“Are You a Happy Person?”

“Hookups with Hotties. Coffee Exposed.”

“Have Fun with your Socks. Halloween Eyes.”

“Using an Unlicensed Bank?”

“Clean Up My Credit. Buy Chicken Poop Lip Balm.”

“Looking for a Sleepsack? Take Back Your Heart.”

“Buddhism Ringtone.” moves further away from journalism, closer to older relative who wants to sound culturally relevant to the wacky youths.