(sic): a closer look at random myspace profiles.

a new series wherein myspace pages are viewed, evaluated, copied, pasted, and jovially mocked.

Name: Dark Angel *Heartbreak Hotel*
Age: 25 years old
Location: Meriden, Connecticut
General: “line dancing, hiking, driving go-carts, hanging out with those who mean the most to me.”
Homepage Pimposity: 2/5
The background image of a killer whale in mid-jump reminds me of my whaling youth.
Friend count: N/A
Song playing: “Stand,” Rascal Flatts
Children: someday
Animated gif/jpeg tally: more than 25
Date viewed: 2/13/07

Token poem, inspirational quote, or inspirational poem:
How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give and take equally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you’re with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don’t try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren’t loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Most recent blog posts:


I wish you knew

MRI results


Something you might not know about her:

Dark Angel is a S.A.R.A (Seductress Administering Rapturous Affection).

Random internet test result:
from What kind of a kisser are you?

You’re a kissing pro, but it’s all about quality and not quantity
You’ve perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone’s socks off

And you’re adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Total comments: 106

Most positive comment:
from evil dave, Feb 7 2007 10:40P

smile caus ethey never know what to think !!!!

Most negative comment:
from JOE FUCKING ROGAN, Jan 14 2007 2:50P

u are gayer than a sac of dicks stop postin 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bulletin a day

Most enigmatic comment:
from amanda, Aug 11, 2006 5:46 PM

what happened to you

Overall increase in misanthropy:
8%. It’s hard to hate a good-kissing EMT who likes killer whales.


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